When I was in college I found a poster called the Desiderata (Latin: “desired things”). It was at the time thought to have been written by an anonymous author in 1692, but it  is actually known (maybe not commonly) to be a prose poem by Indiana writer Max Ehrmann(September 26, 1872 – September 9, 1945). was a spiritual writer and attorney from Terre Haute, Indiana and written in 1927. Along with Invictus, it has helped me quite often over the years, especially dealing with my family (sorry family).

My faith has been extremely tested these last few years. Truly, while I still believe I don’t have much faith left. The fact that I now simply choose to believe is in large part because of this poem and because there are a handful of people I truly respect, and they do in fact believe. I have always trusted “reason” more than “faith” (I still do), and I find the reason in this poem to be very comforting. Personally, I have always believed that God must be reasonable….. Anyway, for today’s offering I include it now. Peace- out, and I’ll keep you posted.

Desiderata -by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

This is a pretty hard fall and winter. I’m sorry. I know I’ll get past it (even if I won’t get over it). For now it’s just a day-to-day thing.

Roy won the Frell Owle award! Here is a photo of the big moment.

Kudos to Uncle Roy!!!! He is the winner of the 2010 Frell Owle Award for service to the people of Cherokee. Way to go Uncle Roy!!!! I’m sorry I don’t get over to visit with my uncle as often as I’d like. I’m just happy for him, and happy he will get to spend the holidays in Maryland with his family and grand children! Grandkids rule!!!

Speaking of grandkids- Bobbi’s mom is home after spending some weeks in NH with her newest great-grandchild. She’s moving to a little farm near Statesl\ville to be closer to Bobbi’s sister Sarah and those great kids. Good for them, not as good for us, but now we’ll have yet another excuse to go visit, right?

We had quite the blast of winter weather this week. After several years of mild winters WINTER is back! this weekend the snow came a day early and stayed! It got down to zero (pretty rare), snowed 8″ and last night turned to freezing rain. It makes driving fun.

No honey- stick it on, don't eat it.....

Speaking of fun, last night we continued on our new family tradition- making a gingerbread house. Bobbi and I started it two years ago. Last night Kira was big enough to help. You can imagine how much help as two year old can be, but it was wonderful. For whatever reason, she was quite content to sit in my lap for an hour and help me. I was pretty content myself. It was magic for me. Thank you, Bobbi.

Anyway, it’s another weekend doing the scout thing for me. Then, the day after Christmad, I’ll fly to St. Pete to visit brother Lloyd and his wife Susan. They had a pretty cool wedding this year. “Cool” is the word- it was at the foot of an Alaska glacier on a fly-fishing expitition! 

This one didn't get away!

Quite a catch, Lloyd!

Anyway, I’ll stay there through new years.

I’ll keep you posted.

Rabindranath Tagore was a Bengali poet, novelist, musician, painter and playwright who reshaped Bengali literature and music. As an author, he was the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913. He was a contemporary of Ghandi, as well as William Butler Yeats, Albert Einstein, Robert Frost, Thomas Mann, George Bernard Shaw, HG Wells and others. Here is a piece I’d like to share with you all- 

Brink Of Eternity

In desperate hope I go and search for her in all the corners of my room; I find her not.

My house is small and what once has gone from it can never be regained.

But infinite is thy mansion, my lord, and seeking her I have to come to thy door.

I stand under the golden canopy of thine evening sky and I lift my eager eyes to thy face.

I have come to the brink of eternity from which nothing can vanish —-no hope, no happiness, no vision of a face seen through tears.

Oh, dip my emptied life into that ocean, plunge it into the deepest fullness. Let me for once feel that lost sweet touch in the allness of the universe.

- Rabindranath Tagore

One nice thing happened while cleaning- here's those crazy kids in 1993.

Well, it seems I’m not done yet after all.

I guess starting at or just before Halloween I was really struck with a series of “grief outbursts”. Halloween was a big deal to Bobbi and I….. It started when Kim asked me to get out the Halloween decorations. I looked everywhere for them, and I found so much of Bobbi’s things- hand-lettered Christmas ornaments, love letters (to and from me, silly), address books… well, it just brought it all crashing down. I’d been pretty pleased with myself for progressing more or less steadily along. That’s not the case it seems. It didn’t help that this all occurred during one of the most stressful times at work, but maybe I needed that catalyst to get this grief train on track. I don’t know.

I’ve stopped pretty much all social activities not related to Scouting. I had even been dating, but that has stopped too. It seems I’m crazy in love with my wife- still. Anyway, it occurs to me I must get my act together before I can move forward, so that’s what I’m working on. I’ve stopped traipsing around the countryside and I’m staying home and cleaning (badly), visiting Kim and the kids when I can and working with the Scout Troop and the Cub Pack. This weekend I’m camping with the Scouts and teaching Indian Lore.

So that’s what’s what. Keep me in your thoughts, okay? I appreciate it. I’ll keep you posted.