Hello beloved friends and family. Tonight is a night of missing Bobbi. One year ago we had just started lumbar punctures to treat the cancer on her spine. Her sister Jill was staying here we were just about to find out the spinal fluid test was positive for cancer in her spine. It’s still ironic to me so much of what she went through was to treat side effects of her breast cancer. Except for one course of chemo all of the rest of it was side effects and secondary cancers. She was so very brave. I’m so proud of her! Today I was thinking about how to redo “her” gardens, her flower beds. I was remembering a year ago my friends from work came and built us her wheelchair ramp. If I haven’t thanked you/ all lately for all you did for us, please remember I am always in your debt. My thoughts and prayers are also for the family of my old friend Don who died of cancer last weekend. He was the friend having his first chemo the day Bobbi had her last.

I guess I’m having a “grief outburst” again. I just miss her so much…. I’m so lucky she chose to love me and grateful she stayed with me.  What a great lady she was. It’s natural, I think, to have regrets and longings for “second chances” to do things better. I’m no different, but there were a lot of things I did right, and I’d like to think I took pretty good care of my girl during those last few years.

How are you? Well I hope. Do me a favor- go up and hug someone you love for me (and for them and yourself also). I’d give anything and I guess everything for one more hug, one more loving word. I’m never ever going to get that, but you can get it right now. Just for no reason, go tell a loved one you’re glad to have them in your life. Try to make a habit of it. I swear you’ll be glad you did.

So, that’s the news for today, such as it is. I hope you’ve noticed I’m doing a better job of posting updates. This weekend I continue Bobbi’s home improvement list she made me. I’ll try to get the majority of the shingles installed, at least on the one side with the most leaks. I’ll also try to weed-eat and maybe mow the lawn for the last time of the year….. and rake the leaves… Maybe just the shingles this weekend! LOL

I’ll keep you posted.

Hello! Thank you for being patient. I’m still learning this software and having to figure out how to upload photos you can download.

Tonight I’ll go to Kim’s house to help paint their upstairs and have a little supper. I was pretty pleased that I found a wonderful gift for Ethan. It’s a toy rollercoaster construction set. The cool thing is the little coaster car has a video camera. It should be pretty cool. I’ll let you know (in two months!).

I still miss her terribly. I am blessed that all my friends and familty are so kind. It makes all the difference in getting though these days. I think Christmas will be especially tough, but we’ll see. Last night I went  Cub Scouts, but Ethan was sick. Still, it was wonderful seeing the little boys learning skills,. Bobbi worked so hard to get the cub pack going…. I’m afraid the scout troop is not doing well since I left. Wish them luck. That work needs to be done.

I’ll keep you posted.

Well, Halloween was fun and just a little sad. Bobbi was

Halloween 2008- Bobbi and Lloyd...

always a big help to my coworkers and I when we’d set up a booth at the local school for Trick Or Treat Night. Many rural area’s have this sort of event at a central location, and Cherokee is no exception. You may remember last year was the first year Bobbi missed it,  and I could not attend either. Still, the costume I made won when our friend Lloyd won it. I have a picture of Bobbi and Lloyd together… I think I uploaded it right. I’m still learning to use this blog software. Anyway, this was the first year without my honey…… as the evening went on I got sadder. After the event at the track I went to a party at our friends Casey and Jill’s…. and that too was the first time without Bobbi. That was tough and I didn’t stay.

Still, the grief does diminish, and these “grief outbursts” do grow less severe and less frequent. There is still beauty to be found and joy to be experienced,

The 2009 Best Booth Winners

and I can do both better because of the beautiful joyous creature that was Bobbi, and because her love transformed me for the better. I’d like to think she helped inspired us to win the trophy for best booth.

I’ll keep you posted.